When I recently met with Shirley Temple Black, the great child star of the 1930s and 40s,we said nothing to each other at first. We simply cried together, for she could share a pain with me that only others like my close friends Elizabeth Taylor and McCauley Culkin knew. I do not tell you this to gain your sympathy but to impress upon you my first important point—it is not just Hollywood child stars that have suffered from a nonexistent childhood.
前些時候,我有幸遇到了三四十年代的一位童星秀蘭鄧波兒,一見面我們什么都不說,只是一起哭,因為她能分擔我的痛苦,這種痛苦只有我的一些密友,伊 麗莎白泰勒和麥考利庫爾金他們才知道。我說這些并不是要博得大家的同情, 只是想讓大家牢記一點這種失去童年的痛苦不僅僅屬于好萊塢的童星。現在,這已經成為全世界的災難。童年成了當代生活的犧牲品。我們使很多 孩子失去歡樂,失去自由,失去相應的權利,而且還認為一個孩子就該是這樣的。
Today, it’s a universal calamity, a global catastrophe. Childhood has become the great casualty of modern-day living. All around us we are producing scores of kids who have not had the joy, who have not been accorded the right, who have not been allowed the freedom, or knowing what it’s like to be a kid. Today children are constantly encouraged to grow up faster, as if this period known as childhood is a burdensome stage, to be endured and ushered through, as swiftly as possible. And on that subject, I am certainly one of the world’s greatest experts. Ours is a generation that has witnessed the abrogation of the parent-child covenant.
現在,孩子們經常被鼓勵長大得快一些,好像這個叫做童年的時期是一個累贅的階段,大人們很不耐煩地想著法兒讓它盡可能地快些結束。在這個問題上,我無疑是世界上最專業的人士之一了。我正是見證親子盟約廢除的一代人。
Psychologists are publishing libraries of books detailing the destructive effects of denying one’s children the unconditional love that is so necessary to the healthy development of their minds and character. And because of all the neglect, too many of our kids have, essentially, to raise themselves. They are growing more distant from their parents, grandparents and other family members, as all around us the indestructible bond that once glued together the generations, unravels. This violation has bred a new generation, Generation O let us call it, that has now picked up the torch from Generation X. The O stands for a generation that has everything on the outside-wealth, success, fancy clothing and fancy cars, but an aching emptiness on the inside. That cavity in our chests, that barrenness at our core, that void in our center is the place where the heart once beat and which love once occupied. And it,s not just the kids who are suffering. It,s the parents as well. For the more we cultivate little adults in kids,bodies, the more removed we ourselves become from our own childlike qualities,and there is so much about being a child that is worth retaining in adult life.
心理學家在書中詳述了因為不給予孩子絕對的愛而導致毀滅性的影響,由此說明這種無條件的愛對他們精神和人格的健康發展是極其必要的。很多孩子因為被忽視就自己照顧自己。他們漸漸疏遠自己的父母親、祖父母以及其他的家庭成員,我們身邊那種曾經團結過一代人的不滅的凝集力就這樣散開了。這種違背常理的行為造就了一代新人一~我們稱之為“0時代”,他們繼承著“X時代”人的使命——擁 有所有外在的東西,例如財富、成功、時裝和跑車,但他們的內心卻是痛苦和空虛 的。心胸空洞,靈魂荒蕪,而那些空白的地方曾經搏動著我們的心臟,曾經被愛占 據。其實,這不僅是孩子的痛苦,也是父母的煎熬。我們越是讓孩子們早熟,我們 就越來越遠離了天真,而這種天真就算孩子成為成年人后也值得擁有。
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于詩詞盛宴中看見書香霞浦2024-05-28
閩南網推出專題報道,以圖、文、視頻等形式,展現泉州在補齊養老事業短板,提升養老服